Internal Dialogue

"The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved." - lesson 71
I've lived my life using this plan. You see, if I had been born in a different city, to different parents, in a different era...
I could go on forever. It does not work. First of all, I cannot change any of that. Second, it was my mind that created it all. And third... third... What was the question? Like I was saying, that plan does not work. Yet I keep trying and trying and trying.
And now there is a plan that works. Well I don't know. Its very different to what I've been doing. I'm much more comfortable with the plan I've been using than with this new plan that seems to have worked for J and other enlightened masters. The deal is that I also have a grievance toward 'god' for not making me a master.
Come on, Father. Why don't you put me in a trance and make me move into a desert? Make me loose some weight, walk barefoot and get rid of my glasses. Also, give me the ability to sit in lotus position. That looks really spiritual. And please don't tell my wife or my mom where I am.
Oh well, today I will try to remember that only God's plan for salvation will work.